Midnight Noises
by Ainnenoi Aurum
Summary: It's after midnight and everyone is supposed to be asleep. But Watari is hearing noises from the kitchen. Noises that include his ward and his suspects. What exactly is going on? Watari knows he's taught L better than that.


I don't know where this came from. Wherever it came from, I am scared of that place. It is evil.

Warnings: AU-ish, perverted noises, suggested threesome, OC-ish. (I tried my best, but Light didn't want to listen to me when I said he had to be cool. ToT I am unappreciated.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, not even if I fall through a hole in time-space and attempt to recreate it in the past. I CAN'T DRAW THAT WELL!

* * *

Watari eyed the steel door of the kitchen with no small amount of anger and trepidation. This was entirely understandable given the rather disturbing noises that were being emitted by it.

_Crash-bang-clatter-female giggle-male groan-male chuckle._

"_Oh, Light, you're so good at that!" _Misa Amane, recently released from solitary confinement under suspicion of being the second Kira.

_Female moan of pleasure._

"_I quite agree. Light-kun is extremely good at this, though the waiting is entirely unbearable."_ L Lawliet, the best detective in the world, Watari's charge, and lead investigator for the Kira case.

_Male chuckle._

"_So, Ryuuzaki's getting a little impatient, is he? Well, I promise it'll only be a bit longer before it's your turn. Misa, what do you think? Should I go with sweet or spicy?"_ Light Yagami, main suspect for the first Kira, also recently released from solitary confinement and chained to L.

_Male groan of anticipation-female laugh._

"_Well, you know Ryuuzaki. He _always _goes better for sweet."_

"_Yes, you're right. Citrus or vanilla, Ryuuzaki?"_

"_I do believe that I have told Light-kun that I love the citrus better."_

_Female laugh._

"_He's got you there Light."_

_Crash-bang-clatter-opening door-rattle-slammed door-male groan of anticipation and agony-female giggle of enjoyment-something slamming onto a table-male moan of bliss._

"_How is Light-kun so good at this? He is better than anyone I have ever met!"_

_Male laugh._

"_Practice, I guess."_

At this point, Watari decided he had heard enough and he turned away from the door for another night, wondering when he'd have the courage to confront his protege about his nightly activities. Had he stayed a little longer, he would have heard what exactly the three younger residents of the tower were doing.

"_Light makes the __best__ ice cream ever!"_

"_I concur. Light-kun's lemon-lime flavor is simple divine."_

"_Oh, Ryuuzaki, you poor man. Everyone knows that Light's dark chocolate is the best."_

_Three voices bursting out into hysterical laughter at the same time._

Light looked at his two best friends as he recovered his breath. Even if their relationship was a little...off the beaten path, (Ryuuzaki _did_ suspect him and Misa of being Kira) they were the only friends he had ever had, and therefore the only people other than him that he would make ice cream for. He grinned. "You guys do realize that Watari was listening again, right?"

Misa grinned. "Of course! That's where the fun is. It's lucky he left when he did though. Otherwise Misa was going to burst out laughing while he was listening and ruin the entire thing. How long do you think until he bursts in?"

L tilted his head. "I calculate there to be an 89 percent chance that sometime in the next week, the gig will be up. And there is a 1.2 percent chance that he will decide to confront us in front of the team."

All of them shared a wince at that prospect.

Light laughed. "Let him, I say. But for now, it's after midnight, and we have to get Misa back into her room before five o'clock, when Watari will check the cameras. We don't want him actually finding out just yet, do we?"

L shook his head. "NO, Watari, while open-minded about most things, is completely adamant about the fact that detectives do NOT sleep with their suspects, let alone multiple suspects at the same time."

* * *

As I said, I am scared of my brain. Also, I think there might have been a little reasoning behind this.

I figure Watari has to sleep sometimes, and L doesn't. L is supposed to be watching Light and Misa in the middle of the night, but he gets bored, so he starts talking to them over the microphone. They end up being friends, and one thing leads to another.

Light decides that he will share his before-now-unknown ice cream making skills when he gets out of the cell. L and Misa can't believe how good it is, so Light decides to make it for them repeatedly.

And Watari is listening. All of you, honestly now, how many of you thought something dirty was going on in that kitchen? That's Watari is thinking.

Oh yeah, nearly forgot.

.!:|= ----Frosty the Snowman! He's a gonna eat'cha!


End file.
